Personal Growth

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dock

Some days, living my best life means sitting on a dock in the BVI soaking up the sun.
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Some days, it means sitting with my guitar and writing a new song.
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Some days, it means sitting in front of my laptop and designing a webpage or new merchandise.
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It all lights me up! What lights you up?

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The moment that I opened my eyes this morning there was a song running thru my head. That happens to me a lot. The other day it was “Shiny” from Moana. Lol. Today it was “Give Love” by Andy Grammer – I have no doubt this was a result of my soul soothing evening on the water last night.
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I had a very productive work day planned but every time I sat down in front of my laptop the song took my attention away from the “business” of the day. So, I picked up my guitar and decided to figure out the tune instead. Singing it over and over put me in such a good mood that I wanted to share it with you all – a little something to encourage everyone midweek.
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I expected it to be quick and painless to shoot a simple video on my porch. Not so much. Continue reading “UNFILTERED”

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Often the most beautiful sunsets come after a storm. That was most certainly the case on Tuesday night. It served as a powerful metaphor. After 4 days on an emotional rollercoaster that quite literally began with crazy and unexpected weather on island, I found myself on the water witnessing the most awe-inspiring post storm sunset I have ever seen. Complete with a rainbow that lit the sky on fire, I knew that my personal storm had passed as well. I then sat down and played my songs and shared my story and remembered who I am at my core. Sometimes life is messy. Sometimes we stumble and fall…hard. What matters most is that we get back up, brush ourselves off, place one foot in front of the other and try again. And give thanks for those who reach out a loving hand to help lift you back to your feet. It is in this space that the growing happens. There will be storms but there will also be rainbows.
#livinglovinggrowing

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9 years ago, today, I moved to St. John. This is the first anniversary that I have not been on island to celebrate that life changing moment. I found my home that day – that place that you don’t even realize your soul has been yearning for until you find it and then…you just know.  I have learned something valuable about my home over the last 10 months; when something is a part of who you are at your very core, you are never really without it. St. John and it’s community are at the very heart of the woman that I have grown into over these last 9 years.  Love City is sewn into the fabric of my being and she has been with me every step of the way as I have traveled through the states sharing the story of her recovery; and with every event, I have been offered a glimpse of just how far the magic of St. John reaches past her shorelines. I watch people’s eyes brighten as they pull me aside, time and time again, to share the ways in which the island has touched them personally.  St. John changes lives. I truly believe it is a place that adds more light into the world and I am so very proud to call it home.

 

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After experiencing my first stateside winter in nearly a decade I find myself mesmerized by spring. It is the ultimate exhale. The dramatic emergence of colors and smells, in such stark contrast to the past months, shoves the reminder of LIFE right in your face. I can’t stop recording it. I don’t want to forget what this feels like. #livinglovinggrowing

 

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What’s that they say? No mud, no lotus? Well, this is actually a water lily (I just learned the difference with the assistance of my pal Google). Nonetheless, I like the message. It was on my mind because yesterday got a little muddy. I strive to stay positive, to focus on joy and hope and silver linings. But let’s be honest, some days that goes better than others. And it has to be okay when it’s not pretty. Clarity grows in that mud too. There is a further defining of what we want and who we desire to be in those moments when frustration, anxiety, anger, or sadness creep up on us. Learning moments. Defining moments. Opportunities to grow. Knowing that helps me to move through it and then attempt to let it go. I am slowly getting better at offering myself the grace that I would extend to others. If I am going to spread kindness I have to start with myself. So, here’s to getting a little dirty. #livinglovinggrowing

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I love a new year – it always seems full of potential and the idea that anything can happen! However, the first days of 2018 are feeling slightly less stand out than I expected. It is not because they hold less excitement – quite the opposite, actually. The thing is, I spent the last few months of 2017 committed to seeing each morning as brand new, a fresh start. It was the only way that I knew how to find hope in the aftermath of the storms that had altered my life immeasurably. As a result, the feeling that usually comes for me on January 1st had already become my daily ritual.

On September 6th, I sat in my closet on St. John while the strongest Atlantic based hurricane in history raged around me and shifted absolutely everything in a way that one cannot really imagine until it happens. Just a few weeks later my year and a half relationship ended in a deafening silence and all I could think was, “Well, when your whole life gets completely upended at once you are left with nothing but possibility.” I knew that I had to choose a perspective that would not leave me paralyzed. I could not focus on what I had lost or I would never get out of bed again. I had to focus on what I did have and all the potential that lay before me. Continue reading “NOTHING BUT POSSIBILITY”

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So, I finished this song about an hour ago. It is kinda raw, unpolished, and extremely rough around the edges – somehow it seems appropriate to share it that way. When I started writing the song it made me cry. By the time I finished, it had me smiling. This is for all of my island family who are displaced and wishing they were back on St. John…(lyrics below)

BACK TO LOVE CITY
I miss my island. I miss my home.
My people have scattered.
The strong winds have blown me
Back to mainland where I feel out of place
But I do my best to find hope in these spaces

Cuz they offer me shelter and kindness and love
And can’t understand why it’s not quite enough
It just isn’t Love City
Get me back to Love City Continue reading “BACK TO LOVE CITY”

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Hope

5 days of prep, 11 days of clean-up, one day of evacuation, one day getting to my childhood home, two days of trying to rest unsuccessfully and regroup as best as one can, while watching the second storm hit from afar…20 days.  How has it been 20 days since all of this started?

21 days ago, I had a picture in my mind of the days, weeks, and months ahead – so many of the details seemed assured and perfectly aligned. That is what we lost overnight – our clear vision of tomorrow. We are all experiencing an utter unknowing of what the future holds for us. Continue reading “AFTERMATH”