hope

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Often the most beautiful sunsets come after a storm. That was most certainly the case on Tuesday night. It served as a powerful metaphor. After 4 days on an emotional rollercoaster that quite literally began with crazy and unexpected weather on island, I found myself on the water witnessing the most awe-inspiring post storm sunset I have ever seen. Complete with a rainbow that lit the sky on fire, I knew that my personal storm had passed as well. I then sat down and played my songs and shared my story and remembered who I am at my core. Sometimes life is messy. Sometimes we stumble and fall…hard. What matters most is that we get back up, brush ourselves off, place one foot in front of the other and try again. And give thanks for those who reach out a loving hand to help lift you back to your feet. It is in this space that the growing happens. There will be storms but there will also be rainbows.
#livinglovinggrowing

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What’s that they say? No mud, no lotus? Well, this is actually a water lily (I just learned the difference with the assistance of my pal Google). Nonetheless, I like the message. It was on my mind because yesterday got a little muddy. I strive to stay positive, to focus on joy and hope and silver linings. But let’s be honest, some days that goes better than others. And it has to be okay when it’s not pretty. Clarity grows in that mud too. There is a further defining of what we want and who we desire to be in those moments when frustration, anxiety, anger, or sadness creep up on us. Learning moments. Defining moments. Opportunities to grow. Knowing that helps me to move through it and then attempt to let it go. I am slowly getting better at offering myself the grace that I would extend to others. If I am going to spread kindness I have to start with myself. So, here’s to getting a little dirty. #livinglovinggrowing

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I love a new year – it always seems full of potential and the idea that anything can happen! However, the first days of 2018 are feeling slightly less stand out than I expected. It is not because they hold less excitement – quite the opposite, actually. The thing is, I spent the last few months of 2017 committed to seeing each morning as brand new, a fresh start. It was the only way that I knew how to find hope in the aftermath of the storms that had altered my life immeasurably. As a result, the feeling that usually comes for me on January 1st had already become my daily ritual.

On September 6th, I sat in my closet on St. John while the strongest Atlantic based hurricane in history raged around me and shifted absolutely everything in a way that one cannot really imagine until it happens. Just a few weeks later my year and a half relationship ended in a deafening silence and all I could think was, “Well, when your whole life gets completely upended at once you are left with nothing but possibility.” I knew that I had to choose a perspective that would not leave me paralyzed. I could not focus on what I had lost or I would never get out of bed again. I had to focus on what I did have and all the potential that lay before me. Continue reading “NOTHING BUT POSSIBILITY”

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So, I finished this song about an hour ago. It is kinda raw, unpolished, and extremely rough around the edges – somehow it seems appropriate to share it that way. When I started writing the song it made me cry. By the time I finished, it had me smiling. This is for all of my island family who are displaced and wishing they were back on St. John…(lyrics below)

BACK TO LOVE CITY
I miss my island. I miss my home.
My people have scattered.
The strong winds have blown me
Back to mainland where I feel out of place
But I do my best to find hope in these spaces

Cuz they offer me shelter and kindness and love
And can’t understand why it’s not quite enough
It just isn’t Love City
Get me back to Love City Continue reading “BACK TO LOVE CITY”

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Hope

5 days of prep, 11 days of clean-up, one day of evacuation, one day getting to my childhood home, two days of trying to rest unsuccessfully and regroup as best as one can, while watching the second storm hit from afar…20 days.  How has it been 20 days since all of this started?

21 days ago, I had a picture in my mind of the days, weeks, and months ahead – so many of the details seemed assured and perfectly aligned. That is what we lost overnight – our clear vision of tomorrow. We are all experiencing an utter unknowing of what the future holds for us. Continue reading “AFTERMATH”

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Hope

Some days are easier than others.  For those that are not, remember to be gentle with yourself.  Focus on the things that offer relief. Trust that it will pass.  Don’t stop believing that you can have all that you have dreamed of, even if it doesn’t feel like it in this moment.  And remember to be kind to one another…we all have hard days.

photo location: Bahamas (June 2015)